Common Mistake Ladies make

Common Mistakes Ladies Make

Being a woman is not just bearing the gender and taking life the way it comes. Growing up, I learnt and I believe you have to live responsibly at all times. A lot of responsibilities are attached to our gender and same definitely goes for men. We ladies are fund of just living by what we hear and forget the necessity of personal principles and how we can add to the society from our small corners.

There’s gender discrimination everywhere but let’s face it, we are the ones who discriminate ourselves. Most times, the lack of confidence is an underlying factor. The fact that we are to submit to our men doesn’t make us vulnerable to them.

Being in a relationship is a beautiful thing but let us ask ourselves the reasons behind this move. 80% of us between the ages of 18 & 23 see it as nothing important! It’s more like having fun and proving that you are also game. It has to do with this band wagon effect; since everyone is in it I am old enough to be in a relationship! The essence is totally undermined and forgotten, it’s been swept underneath the carpet. This alone is the beginning of many other problems that arise in the course of a relationship.

First of all, greed is a major issue. Ladies go into relationships because of what they can gain materially. It’s so funny because you find out that 60% or more are from affluent homes where they barely lack anything, how ironical! We have so beclouded our minds with material things and we find them more important than our dignity as ladies knowing fully well that the guys must always get something back in return anyway. Could it be part of the reasons of gaining freedom or the excitement that we’ve attained the age of making our own decisions? We don’t even consider how much of ourselves we’ve lost due to the desperate pursuit of material things.

Another reason is emotional satisfaction. It is part of being human, everyone desires to love and be loved. It brings about a sense of belonging to someone and always exciting when your partner truly cares about you. But interestingly, how do we know when someone truly cares? Trust me, it is not about the big gifts we share or the touring round together visiting cool happening places and attending big events and shows. Its proper to do these things though, but simple things are graceful. There is more in little things that is why they are the ones that matter most. Simple things like regular phone calls, having private time together, remembering anniversaries, showing love to others especially those in need, whispering sweet nothings just to put a smile on your partner’s face especially during he/she’s downtime, showing simple courtesy like saying ‘thank you’ & ‘I love you’ and the list goes on. All these can make a relationship smooth, not exactly though, there are always ups and downs but maturity is key. If at least one party is mature, then settling differences should not be an issue.

We actually need to stop giving ourselves excuses to date just anybody. It is also very important to date the right person. Dating a guy who you know little or nothing about leaves your relationship questionable. It’s more like inviting problems to you. Most of us go into relationships with the notion to change that person. Now, that is not wise. You were not forced into that relationship neither did you consider the person out of self pity. We should get our acts right. Don’t be too sure, a guy can pretend for such a very long period of time just to prove that he loves and cares about you especially when his ulterior motive is totally different.

Why will you give excuses for someone whose character is questionable? Your emotions have taken control and you decide to overlook bad traits in your partner because you are in love with that person and you think as far as looking forward to getting married to that person…Funny, innit? But that’s exactly what is happening to us. These little things are the cause of marital problems. We don’t even seek for counsel and advice anymore from those who have been there and have good stories to tell because we believe there is a modern way to everything.

What comments do we also have on the issue of pre-marital sex? The issue has been over-flogged and really it is something that one cannot stop talking about especially when it is perceived as normal. Those who are involved in it have so deadened their consciences and don’t see anything wrong with it. As much as getting spiritual isn’t intended in this article, I just must spell it out, even the bible is against it! When you are involved with someone sexually, it binds your spirits together and you both become one. So for those involved with even more than one person, it becomes one spirit bound with several spirits! This is where frustration sets in. As weird as this may sound, it is the truth. These and many more are root causes of marital problems. It is very important to keep one’s self before marriage; we shouldn’t be the ones leading the men on. It is not only earning you your self-respect and dignity, and not just because it is the right thing to do, it provides you peace of mind and no worries, yes it does.

Ladies, let us guide ourselves and set our acts right, only then would we achieve greater things and live exemplary lives to those coming behind us.